Once our troops wrung necks. Now our MPs wring hands. An improvement, but a reminder of how our power has shrivelled
Foreign affairs questions, the monthly "poking our nose into other people's business" session. A century ago, when Britain was displeased, we sent a gunboat. Now we express concern. Once our troops wrung necks. Now our ministers wring hands. An improvement, but it does provide a worthwhile reminder of how much our power has shrivelled.
On Tuesday MPs expressed concern about, among other places, Burma, Nigeria, Colombia, Israel, Palestine, Russia, Tunisia, Libya, Zimbabwe, more or less all of the EU, plus the Turks and Caicos Islands.
Meanwhile, the real work was being done by the chancellor in Beijing, begging the Chinese to send currency trading work our way. It may be a tough job. They remember the opium wars in China as if they were yesterday.
On the other hand there is no end to the deep reserves of hectoring we can deploy. "All our ministers, when they meet our Russian counterparts, make a point of raising human rights issues," said David Lidington.
"We actually spend a lot of time and energy trying to improve the situation in Colombia," said Jeremy Browne, with more hope than conviction.
What's going on in Tunisia? "The UK continues to support efforts to build democracy in Tunisia."
Pete Wishart of the SNP chipped in to ask what resources the UK was giving towards efforts to create a new constitution in Tunisia. Blimey, given the fact that the UK has next to zero influence, how much leverage does the SNP think an independent Scotland will be able to exert?
Even Libya, which we actually helped liberate, seems to ignore us. Apparently the new government has locked up and in some cases tortured about 7,000 people. But Alistair Burt of the Foreign Office has leapt into action. "The question of detainees has been raised by ministers on visits to Libya."
That'll teach 'em! There's nothing like the cold steel of British pursed-lipped disapproval!
On and on they went. "We have always expressed our concern"; "we will always encourage other countries to live up to their legal responsibilities."
But then arose Sir Peter Tapsell, to the loud applause his interventions invariably evoke. Sir Peter is the modern equivalent of a gunboat, being ironclad, fearless and fully victualled for a long voyage. I would like to see him sent to nations where a stern word and angry glower would soon bring despots to heel.
His topic was Syria. Would the government heed Harold Macmillan's dictum that you could never underestimate the capacity of a Middle Eastern state "to replace a bad government with an even worse one"?
To loud and sarcastic cheers, William Hague, the foreign secretary, said that it was not only Middle Eastern states that did this. He had, accidentally, made Labour MPs very happy.
Whether they will be quite so happy after prime minister's questions remains to be seen.