Stop the Games! The security staff can't get through the Olympic traffic jams. But the beach volleyball show will go on
• Don't panic, but the Olympics may have to be cancelled. The Diary has been given a top-level briefing by the head of Olympic security for G4S, which is providing 10,000 guards for the Games, and the news is not good. At its Games security hub at Canary Wharf, which remotely manages logistics and staffing for the Olympic Park, there is a Truman Show-style bank of giant TV screens providing a stream of the latest info. Two of them permanently display the Transport for London web page, which gives tube and bus info. Forget missile strikes by al-Qaida, G4S's No 1 nightmare is the tube breaking down, as it has done repeatedly this week. If that happens, security staff can't get to the site, and, if staffing drops below specified levels, venues can't operate. Boris?
• More Olympics news. Transport for London today launched its planning tool on temporary road changes, which lets drivers check road closures during the Games. And it did it in the most shameless and chauvinistic way possible. TfL got the women's British beach volleyball team to set up their net in Parliament Square, guaranteeing gridlock as white van men overheated. Yes, we realise you were demonstrating Games-related traffic jams, but parading women in bikinis and sports bras is nothing but a cheap PR stunt. The Diary was trapped in the square for four hours and, frankly, it was a disgusting spectacle.
• Talking of Boris, which we vaguely were, two journalists with strong links to the London Evening Standard – former newsdesk hack Sam Lyon and current chief news correspondent Ross Lydall – are in the frame to replace the recently departed mayoral mouthpiece Guto Harri. Anyone would think there was an umbilical link between Boris and the Standard.
• Bob Geldof has given a fascinating interview to ShortList magazine. Q: Are you passionate about recycling? "No, I don't want to think about it at all. It's just a fucking pain in the arse, all these coloured bins and stuff. I don't have a choice, though. Down in London you get fucking hung, drawn and quartered in the fucking public square if you don't." Good points, thoughtfully made.
• Tony Blair may be set to re-enter frontline politics, but what about Gordon Brown? When, if ever, will he re-emerge? The ex-PM is said to be concentrating on being a good local MP in Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath. Yet the diligent Fife Free Press has recorded little about Brown since he attended Cowdenbeath FC's vital match against Forfar Athletic, which clinched its elevation to the first division. That was on 21 April. Fife MSP John Park, who is said to be close to Brown, believes he could be part of the "dream team" (along with Alex Ferguson) to beat the SNP in the independence referendum. "He's potentially more popular than Alex Salmond," says Park, who must be extremely close. As the Heathcliff of the heather broods, the silence becomes deafening.
• Was too much champagne taken at the Journalism Foundation gala evening, which we reported on yesterday? There is growing confusion over who got the replica of the ring jeweller Stephen Webster created for Elizabeth Taylor. The hammer went down on Hugh Grant's bid of £10,000, but it has now been claimed by the Hon Geraldine Harmsworth Maxwell, a friend of Independent owner Evgeny Lebedev. The Journalism Foundation is checking its sources, and the Diary hopes to keep this starry ring cycle going for at least a month.
• Back to Bob's aperçus. Q: How many foreign-language films are in your DVD collection? "I don't have a DVD collection. I snap it out of the thing, watch it and give it back to the rental store. But we have a lot of foreign language, because the missus is French. They're always about some 85-year-old shagging an 18-year-old." Holy Motors!
• Hugh Muir is back next week, thank God, and apparently he's planning a hibu-style rebranding of the Diary. There's sure to be controversy, but ignore the whingers, Hugh. Merci, large drink tonight!
Twitter: @StephenMossGdn